There, I said it Thursday...

I have a problem, lovelies.  I have some pregnant friends and it takes everything, EVERYTHING I have in me not to be 'that' friend.  You know, the friend who constantly gives unsolicited advice, tells you all about how great her homebirth was, how she would suggest a midwife to any and everyone, the one who suggests that you watch certain documentaries or read certain books?  Yeah.  It's really difficult for me.  I really try to only make suggestions and will delve into other topics if my friend is interested but past that, I bite my tongue. 
I bite my tongue, then I judge.  I judge when friends don't at least try breastfeed past the painful first few days or they decide on a c-section because their doctor is going on vacation the same week their baby is coming.  Or carry their babies in car seats knowing that damn car seat is heavy, or go out and get the most unsafe baby carrier after seeing me with my bazillion carriers that are both safer and cuter! I know- I am terrible.   I am well aware that there are often times very legit reasons for not being able to breastfeed.  I am well aware of the fact that there are wonderful medical personnel who know what they are doing when it comes to women's reproductive health.  However....... I believe in making decisions after learning about what all the options are (for example-homebirth/hospital/birth center).  I think I judge a little harsher when I know that friends are just going by what the doctor prescribes without asking any questions.  Think for yourselves. Do some research.  Rant over. Go ahead and judge me.  There, I said it.  ;)

can i brag a bit....

on my midwife? yes, AGAIN! Lovelies, seriously. She and her team are second to none with providing mama-centered prenatal and postnatal care.  Now that they have their own space, sooooo many amazing services are being offered form breastfeeding to learning herbs to placenta encapsulation.  I am constantly in awe of my Shell Walker.  I can't wait to see what she comes up with next! (oh! I do know! heehee! I will post more when I can on this exciting venture).  Check out her site.  I'm going to have to convince her to make a blog button.... ;)

Milky goodness.

Lovelies, I have milk baby.  Yes I do.  He is adorable.  I have only seen a picture of him, and maybe I will meet him in person one day, maybe not- but either way, I am satisfied.  My milk helped save his life. You see, I was called to donate some of my milk to this precious being because of some issues that his mama was having with breastfeeding.  I was thrilled to help.  As of today, my milk baby is doing fine and his mama is doing better and better every day.  I can't tell you how proud I am of her to sticking with breastfeeding.

Have you heard of  Eats on Feets Community Breast Milk Sharing? well that was all started by my poop-stirring midwife!!! To me, Shell is nothing short of amazing and I cherish every time we get to hang out. Google her and check out all of the wonderful, informative and controversial stuff she has started with her 'audacity' to match milk donors with milk recipients without any money being exchanged anywhere! ;)    ANYWAY, milksharing and wet-nursing has been around since the beginning of time but because of the fear of human contact that society has put on us, both entities have all but disappeared.  Milk banks are charging up to $5 per ounce of breast milk.  Can you imagine? This makes banked-milk more expensive than formula! I couldn't charge for something that I know can help sustain a life. There are so, so many benefits to breastmilk.  I am thrilled that there are so many mamas who are not buckling to the formula companies. (I have had the honor or helping two such mamas).  I should say that I did supplement with S1 and S2 and they turned out just fine. However, S3 got no formula at all, and S4 has had no formula either.  When you know better, you do better, IMO.  If for any reason I need milk for S4, I will be checking Eats on Feets before even thinking about heading to the grocery store.
I will always advocate for breastfeeding! What say you, lovelies? Would you donate your milk? Would you accept another woman's milk for your baby?

Dealing with blues....

Oh lovelies, it has been busy since S4 got here.  As a matter of fact, I started to get the blues. Not full on depression, but blues. I felt like I was losing control- S1 and S2 had fall break last week, so the timing was bad because everyone was at home.  Everyone at home made things a bit overwhelming and I just wanted to sleep. Plus, S4's first pediatrician appointment did not get off on a very positive note (story for another post).  So I felt like all I was doing was nursing S4 and being a lousy mom to the rest of the crew including my dear hubby.  My oh-so awesome midwife called me and told me that her oh so awesome student midwife would bring over my encapsulated placenta and some dark chocolate for me within the hour. Mind you, it was already about 8pm....
Wait, what did I just say? Encapsulated. Placenta.  Yes I did. The practice of consuming one's placenta is called 'placentophagy.'  After S4 was born, I asked my lovely student midwife (and friend) to turn my placenta into something I could consume.  Why would I want to consume my placenta?  This is why.  Now, this is my first encapsulation experience.  Some women are able to eat pieces of their placenta bit by bit, but my husband would freak if he knew that I had my placenta in the fridge and I'm not sure I would have been able to stomach cutting off bits!  So, into caps went my placenta and my mood and general outlook on things have improved tremendously.  S4 is nursing like a champ and I feel a little more rested.   Ah, our ancestors knew what they were doing back in the day.  More info for you here and here.  It's not for everyone, so I highly suggest doing your own research.  I am very thankful that I had the choice and the opportunity to reap the benefits of such an amazing organ.  My placenta made about 72 caps!

She's heeeeeeeeeeeeere!

S4 arrived on her due date of 9/28, weighing in at 8lbs, 9oz.  Born at home to the sounds of reggae music and the smell of lime-raspberry candles. Details in a bit.  Pics for your viewing pleasure!

breastfeeding and cosleeping

I have done them both and plan to do so with the noob.  I think these are things that women of color don't really talk about.  Not sure why though.  For me, I have been made to feel guilty for keeping my children in carriers (ring slings, mei tais, etc) for longer than 3 months by some people.  Really? Whatever. My children have been worn and my three year old continues to be worn when she wants.  After all the research that says that these types of interactions- breasfeeding, cosleeping and babywearing help with the overall health of baby and supports the bond between parent and child?  I ran into a mama today who told me that she doesn't typically go around telling people that she cosleeps and breastfeeds because of folks' initial reaction to her decision.  I told her not to let people influence or get her down for what she is doing.  We moms need sleep and infants/babies need to eat.  I (or hubby, even though he would) don't want to get up at 3:47am to fumble around in the dark to make a bottle when I can just roll over with the goods, you know?  I am much happier doing this.  I think as women (and women of color), we are harderst on both ourselves and each other.

If you don't know, do some reasearch for yourself and stop harassing me about my decisions.  If you ask me, I will do my best to educate you however do not then turn around and belittle me about what I have decided to do with my babies.

What do you think? Do we talk about these intimate decisions enough? Not enough? What do we need to do to alleviate the stigma and not shame mamas for breastfeeding, cosleeping and babywearing?  (I feel like you lovelies know me well enough to know that I don't really mind what people say, however I am still trying to find my voice when people make snarky comments).  I think grassroots organizations have done a wonderful job promoting these topics but I know there is more we can do......