Saturday, July 17, 2010

breastfeeding and cosleeping

I have done them both and plan to do so with the noob.  I think these are things that women of color don't really talk about.  Not sure why though.  For me, I have been made to feel guilty for keeping my children in carriers (ring slings, mei tais, etc) for longer than 3 months by some people.  Really? Whatever. My children have been worn and my three year old continues to be worn when she wants.  After all the research that says that these types of interactions- breasfeeding, cosleeping and babywearing help with the overall health of baby and supports the bond between parent and child?  I ran into a mama today who told me that she doesn't typically go around telling people that she cosleeps and breastfeeds because of folks' initial reaction to her decision.  I told her not to let people influence or get her down for what she is doing.  We moms need sleep and infants/babies need to eat.  I (or hubby, even though he would) don't want to get up at 3:47am to fumble around in the dark to make a bottle when I can just roll over with the goods, you know?  I am much happier doing this.  I think as women (and women of color), we are harderst on both ourselves and each other.

If you don't know, do some reasearch for yourself and stop harassing me about my decisions.  If you ask me, I will do my best to educate you however do not then turn around and belittle me about what I have decided to do with my babies.

What do you think? Do we talk about these intimate decisions enough? Not enough? What do we need to do to alleviate the stigma and not shame mamas for breastfeeding, cosleeping and babywearing?  (I feel like you lovelies know me well enough to know that I don't really mind what people say, however I am still trying to find my voice when people make snarky comments).  I think grassroots organizations have done a wonderful job promoting these topics but I know there is more we can do......


Midwife in Training said...

GIRL I agree with you 100% and I do the exact same thing with all of my babies as well. I have never owned a crib in my life and never thought twice about it. I have gotten slack from family at times on my decisions, but as my girls grow I see my decisions changing their concept of "normal". Unfortunately in American society, people let "slanted research", media, and scare tactics dictate what is the "right" way to raise babies and in my opinion its led by that old mighty dolla. If the rest of the world carries their babies, co-sleeps, and breastfeeds AND have lower SIDS and sickness what does that say about American culture???

As a nurse now, I find myself sometimes putting on a muzzle or shrinking int he background on the topic of co-sleeping and thats a damn shame but honest. I guess I feel like the saying "choose your battles wisely" no need to confront those that are sold on the societal norm.

As women of color we have a long way to go b/c we have bought into this philosophy the hardest. Its sad b/c we are taught that our ancestors did it wrong or why would you inconvenience yourself now. Its starts with us Abi, as mother of color we are teaching our daughter to teach their daughters. And my doing, others see and do the same or at least ask questions.

Abby C. said...

this is why we are friends! ;)

i hope and pray that i can be an example to other moms amd moms of color just by doing. ya dig?

raye said...

I did co-sleep with the first, and she never wanted to be in her own crib or sleep through the night for that matter, until she was in her own bed. That was at 6-8 months. The little one was in her own bed by the 3rd night home, as she did NOT want to sleep with me. (She is NOT a cuddly baby at all :( )
I still brought her into bed when she woke up for her 3am feed and that way I could sleep and she could eat. Does that count??? LOL

And babe, I am the one who gives the stink eye to those women who can't even be bothered to try and nurse their babies. Yeah, I'm like that.....

Abby C. said...

It totally counts Rach! ;)
You and I would be stink-eyeing all over Calgary! I too am bothered by mothers who don't even try. Sad.

<3 ya!

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