wordless friday

I hope my friend doesn't mind that I post this pic.... I had the pleasure of shooting her last week, and this week she gave birth to a lovely baby boy at home.  Congratulations my friend! I am so happy to know you! <3

There, I said it Thursday...

I have a problem, lovelies.  I have some pregnant friends and it takes everything, EVERYTHING I have in me not to be 'that' friend.  You know, the friend who constantly gives unsolicited advice, tells you all about how great her homebirth was, how she would suggest a midwife to any and everyone, the one who suggests that you watch certain documentaries or read certain books?  Yeah.  It's really difficult for me.  I really try to only make suggestions and will delve into other topics if my friend is interested but past that, I bite my tongue. 
I bite my tongue, then I judge.  I judge when friends don't at least try breastfeed past the painful first few days or they decide on a c-section because their doctor is going on vacation the same week their baby is coming.  Or carry their babies in car seats knowing that damn car seat is heavy, or go out and get the most unsafe baby carrier after seeing me with my bazillion carriers that are both safer and cuter! I know- I am terrible.   I am well aware that there are often times very legit reasons for not being able to breastfeed.  I am well aware of the fact that there are wonderful medical personnel who know what they are doing when it comes to women's reproductive health.  However....... I believe in making decisions after learning about what all the options are (for example-homebirth/hospital/birth center).  I think I judge a little harsher when I know that friends are just going by what the doctor prescribes without asking any questions.  Think for yourselves. Do some research.  Rant over. Go ahead and judge me.  There, I said it.  ;)

can i brag a bit....

on my midwife? yes, AGAIN! Lovelies, seriously. She and her team are second to none with providing mama-centered prenatal and postnatal care.  Now that they have their own space, sooooo many amazing services are being offered form breastfeeding to learning herbs to placenta encapsulation.  I am constantly in awe of my Shell Walker.  I can't wait to see what she comes up with next! (oh! I do know! heehee! I will post more when I can on this exciting venture).  Check out her site.  I'm going to have to convince her to make a blog button.... ;)

Dealing with blues....

Oh lovelies, it has been busy since S4 got here.  As a matter of fact, I started to get the blues. Not full on depression, but blues. I felt like I was losing control- S1 and S2 had fall break last week, so the timing was bad because everyone was at home.  Everyone at home made things a bit overwhelming and I just wanted to sleep. Plus, S4's first pediatrician appointment did not get off on a very positive note (story for another post).  So I felt like all I was doing was nursing S4 and being a lousy mom to the rest of the crew including my dear hubby.  My oh-so awesome midwife called me and told me that her oh so awesome student midwife would bring over my encapsulated placenta and some dark chocolate for me within the hour. Mind you, it was already about 8pm....
Wait, what did I just say? Encapsulated. Placenta.  Yes I did. The practice of consuming one's placenta is called 'placentophagy.'  After S4 was born, I asked my lovely student midwife (and friend) to turn my placenta into something I could consume.  Why would I want to consume my placenta?  This is why.  Now, this is my first encapsulation experience.  Some women are able to eat pieces of their placenta bit by bit, but my husband would freak if he knew that I had my placenta in the fridge and I'm not sure I would have been able to stomach cutting off bits!  So, into caps went my placenta and my mood and general outlook on things have improved tremendously.  S4 is nursing like a champ and I feel a little more rested.   Ah, our ancestors knew what they were doing back in the day.  More info for you here and here.  It's not for everyone, so I highly suggest doing your own research.  I am very thankful that I had the choice and the opportunity to reap the benefits of such an amazing organ.  My placenta made about 72 caps!

The quick and dirty version.......

Alright! I have a second!
Tuesday morning, my mw stripped my membranes and contractions started a couple hours later. They were pretty persistent and consistent by the afternoon, so I called my midwife back and got into the birthing tub. What a wonderful way to be! Chillin' in the tub.... MW at my house by about 6:45ish. Labored... labored... for what I felt like was forever. DH put some reggae music on and lit some really lovely candles. Felt like I was going to poop and was assured that it was probably the baby's head. Uh nope. poop. (sorry for the tmi). Right after the poop however I felt a pop. Seriously, I felt like I popped! My water broke and I could feel the baby coming. So I guess I pushed, and her head got stuck halfway out. All I knew then was that my MW had jumped in the tub with me and that dh was helping me up to stand. I pushed standing and with the MW's help, out came S4. Woo! No tearing thank heavens. Baby girl's torso was bigger than her head! LOL. All is well. She has no issues with nursing. 8lbs, 9oz, 20.5 inches long.

She's heeeeeeeeeeeeere!

S4 arrived on her due date of 9/28, weighing in at 8lbs, 9oz.  Born at home to the sounds of reggae music and the smell of lime-raspberry candles. Details in a bit.  Pics for your viewing pleasure!

no baby yet Lovelies!

However, I have had crazy contractions and pain in my hips and shoulders.  Oh my goodness! Can I get some consistency? I've tried everything lovelies. Spicy food, pressure points, walking, and even holiday undies. Even though S4 technically isn't 'due' until the 28th, I am tired of being tired and in pain!  I feel like I am the size of a small planet.
On a great note- my birth tub is here, my co-op produce was wonderful this week, most of the dishes were done this morning by my 13 year old son and the weather is *slightly* cooling off. I made LaborAid (see post below) yesterday and it is wonderful! It also tastes great with crushed raspberries. Oh- and my midwife totally rocks.
So, to the pain and intermittent contractions, I give you the 'really though' face.  Those who are on my facebook are familiar with it....I originally took it with my cell phone for my brother who had just informed me that he had eaten lunch at a Jamaican spot close to his work.  Umm, why would you tell a pregnant woman you had just eaten something that she has been craving for the past 3 months? Really though?

I hate waiting!

Omgoodness lovelies,  I hate waiting.  Contractions started on the 17th and felt pretty regular, were sporadic on the 18th (didn't go to work either day) and other than some cramping and a chunk of plug coming out, here I sit today waiting for S4 to arrive.  If things are like this on Monday, I'll see if my midwife will give me the ok to go to the office.  She checked me on the 17th and said I was about 3cm dilated, which is cool.  The birthing tub is arriving today so maybe S4 is waiting to make her arrival in it? My dad's birthday is Monday and he has already said that he would love if the baby made her appearance on his day.  We'll see. 
Fortunately, I have gotten some decent sleep- it's the turning over that is killing me!!! I seriously have to gain momentum to switch sides! My hips and shoulders ache.  I am huge. I am trying to win a baby bathtub. I am rambling.
What if anything lovelies, have you done in order to get labor moving?

wordless wednesday

breastfeeding and cosleeping

I have done them both and plan to do so with the noob.  I think these are things that women of color don't really talk about.  Not sure why though.  For me, I have been made to feel guilty for keeping my children in carriers (ring slings, mei tais, etc) for longer than 3 months by some people.  Really? Whatever. My children have been worn and my three year old continues to be worn when she wants.  After all the research that says that these types of interactions- breasfeeding, cosleeping and babywearing help with the overall health of baby and supports the bond between parent and child?  I ran into a mama today who told me that she doesn't typically go around telling people that she cosleeps and breastfeeds because of folks' initial reaction to her decision.  I told her not to let people influence or get her down for what she is doing.  We moms need sleep and infants/babies need to eat.  I (or hubby, even though he would) don't want to get up at 3:47am to fumble around in the dark to make a bottle when I can just roll over with the goods, you know?  I am much happier doing this.  I think as women (and women of color), we are harderst on both ourselves and each other.

If you don't know, do some reasearch for yourself and stop harassing me about my decisions.  If you ask me, I will do my best to educate you however do not then turn around and belittle me about what I have decided to do with my babies.

What do you think? Do we talk about these intimate decisions enough? Not enough? What do we need to do to alleviate the stigma and not shame mamas for breastfeeding, cosleeping and babywearing?  (I feel like you lovelies know me well enough to know that I don't really mind what people say, however I am still trying to find my voice when people make snarky comments).  I think grassroots organizations have done a wonderful job promoting these topics but I know there is more we can do......

My dad....

Is actually pretty cool and has finally mellowed out a bit in his old age.  I shared this on my FB page, but I'm going to share it here too because it was funny.

So my parents called my house just as my midwife was leaving.  The convo that I had with my dad went like this;
I'll bold myself so you can know who said what. 'Hey Dad'  'Hey, how's it going?' 'Fine, my midwife just left my house.'  'Midwife eh? You must be going green!' Both of us bust up laughing.  'That was cute Dad!'

We ended up having a good visit with my midwife, her assistant and  kids and hubby.  Hubby made some off the wall statements about how he thought they had it right when men were in the waiting room during delivery.  Uhhh, hello, you were in the room when our kids were born!  He did make it clear that he wasn't catching anyone and that he was not going to cut the umbilical cord.  Fine. Dork. Then my midwife calmed him down when she said that there was something to be said about women helping women and that if hubby just wanted to hang out, that was fine.  Yay midwife! The girls loved listening to heartbeats and using the doppler.  S2 learned that the static blips were the baby kicking (which is the reason we could not get a heartbeat- baby was kicking too much, which is a good sign).  ;)

Is it normal....

to be excited that my midwife is coming over for my appointment? Even my kids are asking me when she is coming. I'll ask her (my midwife) if it's cool that I link her page to my post.  She is uber cool.  If I remember to take pictures during my appointment, I will post them for you for sure! :)

And we have a heartbeat!

I  interviewed my final midwife today and after a lovely conversation and jokes about belly fat, she offered to see if we could hear the baby's heartbeat.  It took some doppler moves and a some time, but we heard it! I started to giggle and we lost it, but the baby is there and sounds strong! I told my mom that we are planing on doing a homebirth and her first reaction (in a Jamaican accent) was 'really? wow!'  She asked why and I reminded her about how quick my labor and delivery was with S3.  Then she went on about how I don't have risky pregnancies anyway and that she could understand wanting to be in a familiar environment and be able to sleep in my own bed.   I was pleasantly surprised at her positivity and support.  She then asked where the rest of the kidlets would be when I go into labor and I told her that they would be in the house and it would be up to them if they wanted to see the birth.  I don't think my teenage son would want to be in on this, but I could be mistaken.  We'll see! So yay Mom! I believe I have made my midwife decision and will be calling to set up care next week. :)

See anything different

in my profile?  Yes lovelies, we are expecting #4 in September.  Predictions have already started rolling in and I am only about 8 weeks along.  Goodness! LOL. We are planning to have a homebirth.  Hubby said that he is cool with a homebirth as long as he gets to wear scrubs! I've been interviewing midwives and will make a decision by the end of this week. I am looking forward to having this baby at home because it means I won't have to spend any nights in an uncomfortable hospital bed with people (other than the new baby) waking me up at all hours of the night! Have you had a home birth? Please feel free to share your experiences!